What Do We Do After We Are Done Feeling Our Feelings? Emotionally Focused Therapy


Art (above) by me- PRINTs, MUGs and more HERE.

Here are 5 things I’m Extremely KEEN on this week!
1.  Here’s What to do AFTER you feel your feelings.….last week I mentioned that I keep a FEELING WHEEL at close hand these days.  Sometimes it helps me kickstart my feeling process.  Here’s a PRINTABLE VERSION. 

I thought it might be good to practice our feelings together. I find that I do so much THINKING- and I’d like to be existing/sharing more from my FEELING place.

The idea that FEELING is what makes us human + it’s why we’re here (from #barbie movie) deeply resonates!

Tip: What does it feel like in your body…does it have a shape, color or texture? What is the SENSATION of the feeling in your body/

Here are a few FEELINGS people shared at Instagram and facebook:

  1. This morning I feel calm which is SO WELCOME. I feel like a big white pine tree in my body. Large, peaceful + grounded.
  2. Yesterday I felt angry and it felt like a big ace bandage wrapped around my chest…like my middle was stuffed with steel.
  3. For the past month and a half I have felt sad, fear, genius and joy all at the same time! The sadness and fear are felt in my abdomen and belly. Plus, struggling with sleep.
  4. Yesterday I was both wired, anxious and exhausted. I felt tired enough to try to nap at 10:30am but being prone made me feel physically hot, nauseated and angry. I know this is all coming from a place of worry mixed with sadness over my oldest leaving for college in two weeks.

How about you? If you want to join us- (phewww this could be vulnerable!)….just share hit REPLY and tell me how you are feeling right now and where you feel it in in your body (what’s the actually sensation of this feeling?).

After sharing our feelings, I got THIS question- which I loved because its the exact same question I asked my therapist!!

Q:  Do you have a wheel that suggests how to move with the feelings in a way that supports growth and well-being Sarah?

In other wards- what the heck do we do NOW that we have felt this feeling and noticed it? What’s the procedure? 

GREAT QUESTION! It’s my current understanding, according to my esteemed therapist, that it is enough just to FEEL the feeling and let it pass…no strategy required. Nothing more to do.

That’s it….just FEEL.

What will happen over time, one friend shared with me who has been feeling her feelings for a while now is that you will become more conscious over time.  You will consider slowing your roll before you pop off at your teenager (or partner) and you will become more aware of you feeling and (YAY!) be less at risk to have some unconscious REACTION that causes you or others more pain and suffering.  In other words, you will go PRO with owning your *stuff*.

My hot take:  In time, we learn to slow down and FEEL before we ACT/REACT and that will transform all of our relationships.

2. Sometimes, it’s YOU.  Quote I’m sitting with:

“The toughest thing I see with boundaries is acknowledging when you are the boundary violator. How can you tell? One sign is when someone keeps restating their boundary to you over and over again. Another is if you find yourself having multiple deep conversations with someone about who they are and what’s important to them. If you are wondering why you keep having to talk about the same stuff, it may be because you’re not getting it, or your behavior indicates that you aren’t. Sometimes it’s not them. It’s you.”

-Nedra Tawwab – I love her newsletter too!.

I’m sheepish to admit that this has happened with me and my kids and my partner.  It’s like I don’t always “get it” the first time. And that’s OK. I am human and I am working to improve.

Is there someone who has had to restate their boundary to you? How might you show them that, NOW, you get it?

3. Do You Have Eyebrows Which Are Crossing Over Into Sam the Eagle Territory. I do! This little product  (I buy “Auburn” color) will tame those wild coarse and wooly bits into a smooth and nice arch!

(photo below- my actual graying eyebrows in wild and natural state)

4. Artificial Intelligence could save your bacon if you’ve got ADHD.  Here are some cool things you might not have thought of to ask the free CHAT GPT app to help you with!

5. I want to leave you with THIS...and I hope that you can come to the free Paris Salon Inger and I are hosting!  It will an experience to help you understand and nourish your own creativity!  REGISTER HERE.

“As humans, we so often feel helpless in our own smallness, yet still we find the resilience to do and make beautiful things, and this is where the meaning of life resides. Nature reminds us of this constantly. The world is often cast as a purely malignant place, but still the joy of creation exerts itself, and as the sun rises upon the struggle of the day, the Great Crested Grebe dances upon the water. It is our striving that becomes the very essence of meaning. This impulse – the creative dance – that is now being so cynically undermined, must be defended at all costs, and just as we would fight any existential evil, we should fight it tooth and nail, for we are fighting for the very soul of the world.”
– Nick Cave

There is no time like right NOW to dance like this  Your light and your gifts are so needed!  REGISTER HERE.

Was 2023 the year you were going to become more of who you really are?  What was it that you were determined to discover, uncover, step into or be this year?  Could you use some healing, support or guidance?

You can schedule vibe-raising divinations, life- coaching, and shamanic healing/mentoring in August HERE.  I will be gone for much of September so hopefully you can find a time that works before then!

with love,

This email is reader supported. It’s typed up at my desk near the kitchen from notes I take throughout the week! The best way to support me is to:

1. BUY MY BOOKS  (or listen to them on Audible!)
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3. Book a HEALING or COACHING session with me.
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5. Purchase a mug, t-shirt, framed print, tote bag, shower curtain or other magical thing that I have created at MY ART SHOP.
6. FORWARD this newsletter to somebody who you know would enjoy it!

 Artists Thrive in Good Company.  MIDNIGHT IN PARIS (The Movie) Made me swoon. I’ve been obsessed with the idea of Parisian Salons (places where writers + artists would gather in bars or living rooms to talk creative shop and to share their work.) In college I was obsessed with the radical women Gertrude B. Stein and Alice B. Toklas and their amazing salon and life.

In part this has inspired our Parisian Salon for Working Creatives (AKA: SHINE!) and you are invited to a complimentary 60 minute course!


-Feel more clarity and confidence about your artistic voice 🌈

-Uncover a powerful mantra to grow your creative courage❤️

-Discover what what you need NOW to grow creatively👀

-Remove roadblocks to creative expression….🦋

Register here


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