How To Really Help Somebody Who is Upset
You guys know I’m a fan of Bright Line Eating and its founder Susan Pierce Thompson- (If you struggling with weight and excess food- check out the book!).
Anyhoo, she did a private video for her group members that was a quick “how to help somebody who is struggling” and I LOVED the profound simplicity of it and I believe THIS IS THE WAY to help each other!
I have created a written summary of it because I think it’s SO IMPORTANT. I hope you try it out! I think it really nails the methodology that life coaches like me have spent thousands of dollars for (of course it’s fun to have more tools but this tool alone could be the only one you ever use).
So, here’s what Susan shared: When somebody appears in your space who is hurting- typically they are TRIGGERED….they need to have their nervous system restored to peace where they can access (once again) their own inner wisdom…it’s pretty simple but boy it takes practice!
Try it with your teens, your partner, you colleagues at work!
How to Really Help Somebody Who Is Upset (inspired by Susan Pierce Thompson and paraphrased and embellished by me)
1. DON’T GIVE ADVICE– Just don’t do it. Don’t try to help, troubleshoot, guess or advise —the person is triggered and this will not help.***
2. MIRROR BACK WHAT THEY SAID + SYMPATHIZE WITH THEIR *FEELINGS*-non-robotically in your own words..”So your boss isn’t going to let you lead this project after all? Wow …I know how much your work means to you…that must hurt”
3. ASK THEM TO “SAY MORE”– this is where you help them empty out what’s feeling so FULL right now. Empty empty empty. (Your job is to be calm and attentive as you listen). Keep asking open ended questions, “How did that feel?” or “What was that like?”
4. ASK WHAT WOULD FEEL LIKE SUPPORT NOW?” This is a great question to end with—once you have the sense that the person is calming down and reconnected to their own inner self.
*** if somebody point blank asks you “WHAT WOULD YOU DO in this situation?” You should pause and say,
“I want to be sure…are you REALLY asking me for advice…?” And double check before sharing anything. Then I’d say something like “If this were my life and it was me in this situation (being usre to point out that you are not them)…I would XXX.”
I invite you to TRY this on your spouse, your BFF, your kids, your grandkids!
Remember: Your role as “helper” is simply to BEAR WITNESS CALMLY (to help restore their nervous system) so that they can access their own inner wisdom!
I have a new class coming up in May- and you can register now! Its’ via Zoom so you can attend from anywhere around the world. I can’t wait to do this work with you! Then in June, my 100 day Project course- Creative Soul Retrieval will
ABOUT THIS CLASS:
Using Creativity To Explore (the Enchanting) You!
In this class you will have the chance to:
1. Meet, directly, the spirit of your creativity, a powerful force that’s here to help you.
2 . To experience the enchanting experience of creating several surprising little works of art using the unique sources you love.
3. To explore (with the help of the spirit of your creativity) and get to know yourself more deeply.
P.S. I have 2 VIRTUAL book clubs coming up for “Where the Deer Dream” and you are INVITED! I would love to see you and connect with you! As an author and creative human meeting readers is A HUGE treat for me!