Codependency is SNEAKY and more!
Day 83/100 My Summer of NO: 100 Days of Self-Respecting Boundaries”
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I’m extremely grateful that you’re here and I dream that what you find here encourages and uplifts you.
1. CODEPENDENCY IS SNEAKY. Codependency: a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person manifesting low self-esteem and a strong desire for approval has an unhealthy attachment to another person and places the needs of that person before his or her own. Man!!! This boundaries project has brought into clear view the persistence of my codependent tendencies! Generational trauma? Not sure, but I know that the serenity prayer helps.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and
the courage to change the things I can. Amen.
I’ve been noticing how frequently throughout the day I have a reaction (as opposed to a response..) to other people’s behaviors—even strangers! (People riding bikes on busy roads- I want them to stop and be safe! What other people are doing is none of my beeswax!)
Did you grow up in the presence of an alcoholic, an addict of some other kind, somebody with active anxiety/depression/bipolar or chronic illness/chronic pain? You may relate…
“For some of us, the idea that we were responsible for other people’s feelings had its roots in childhood and was established by members of our nuclear family. We may have been told that we made our mother or father miserable, leading directly to the idea that we were also responsible for making them happy. The idea that we are responsible for our parents’ happiness or misery can instill exaggerated feelings of power and guilt in us.
We do not have this kind of power over our parents-over their feelings, or over the course of their lives. We do not have to allow them to have this kind of power over us.”
-August 22 from “the language of letting go” by Melody Beattie
2. Sleep in a Sea of Merit. You know I’m A SUPER-FAN of creating a morning routine (here’s my slightly manic video sharing my very own morning routine).
But, evening routines are mighty powerful and I’d like to dial one in for myself one day soon. This Thai monk has made a popular group of videos- this one centers on his evening routine!
3. Usually I go for silence but this morning meditation is truly sweet!
4. Are you a physician feeling out of sorts- or really any sort of person struggling to fit in? I met Jillian Rigert MD when she was a student at Martha Beck Life Coach training and I am in awe of all the wonderful content she is creating for neurodivergent/Born to FREAK (read ADHD, anxiety, depression, asperger’s) women physicians longing to be MORE AUTHENTIC. She interviewed me and I think you might enjoy it! WATCH HERE.
5. It’s almost time! Our LIVE 90 minute workshop is just around the corner! Let’s build houses of INTEGRITY together!
Learn how to create a home that will set your most interesting plans in motion.
Or to put it another way: together we’ll create homes that bring out the very best in us. Register HERE.
WHEN: Tuesday, August 30th, 12 pm (noon) Central Time / 6 pm UK time
To check what time this 90-minute fun-fest takes place where you live, click on this link: https://time.is/compare
WHERE: Online/ Zoom.
All best, Sarah and Inger, xox 🐯💗😊
PS: If you can’t attend live, no worries. We’ll send you the recording straight to your inbox.
PPS: If you want to do this workshop with a friend or someone you haven’t seen in a while, just send them this link:
6. Addiction is a symptom.
Addiction is when we perform some behavior (drinking wine, shopping, running, overeating, gambling, scrolling social media…) over and we cannot stop the behavior and we want MORE. We often dismiss how much this behavior is causing problems.
“Someone experiencing an addiction will:
- be unable stay away from the substance or stop the addictive behavior
- display a lack of self-control
- have an increased desire for the substance or behavior
- dismiss how their behavior may be causing problems”- From Healthline.
I feel like my own addictive behaviors are sort of a gift because they remind me to be GENTLE but firm with myself…to remind me that, if I want to eat compulsively, then… I’m trying to avoid feeling something.❤️❤️❤️❤️ GOing to my weekly 12 step meetings helps! Having a sponsor helps!
“Addiction is an attempt to regulate a nervous system chronically stuck in fight or flight.
Addiction is an attempt to escape from feeling a pain and emptiness that runs to the core of a persons being.
Addiction is a form of self abuse. When we are abused or emotionally neglected as children, we can become our own abuser. It’s all we know. Our brains seek to repeat the familiar.
Addiction is the result of not having childhood co-regulation. An inability to self sooth. A lack of healthy ways to cope.
Addiction is the result of witnessing things that were scary, overwhelming, or downright terrifying without having a safe adult to help you understand them.
Addiction is the childhood LACK OF EMOTIONAL CONNECTION, manifested.
Addiction is an attempt to silence the “dark” thoughts that re-play (like a broken record) the voice of the critical parent.
Addiction is the result of a society’s greatest lie: that says some people aren’t lovable, worthy, or valuable.
Addiction is SHAME. And it’s usually a shame that was never that persons to carry.
Addiction causes a person to engage in survival based behaviors they wouldn’t otherwise engage in like: deception, abuse, theft, or betrayal.
Addition is a slow spiritual death that no human being consciously chooses ”
If you need help or suspect a loved one is addicted Call 800-622-4357 for confidential and free treatment referral information, if you or someone you know has an addiction. This number is for The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). They’ll be able to provide more information, including guidance on prevention and mental and substance use disorders.
I am here for coaching, shamanic mentoring, shamanic healing and vibe raising DIVINATION sessions! You are always welcome to read more and book a session or series of sessions HERE.
with big love,
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Make your whole home a temple and your life a prayer…WATCH THE VIDEO.
Change your home, change your whole LIFE! (Coming this Fall!)
What if we told you that you can make valuable progress on your dreams
working closely with your home?
That instead of feeling like every step of the way is the mental equivalent of tight-rope walking (i.e.: must get more willpower, feel inspired, muster up motivation, etc . . ), you can reverse-engineer the process with breathtaking clarity and intention?
Waking up in an environment that has been designed to stoke your dreams will not only put a big smile on your face, but it will hit the PLAY button on the life you want to live.
It’s a way off but I’m excited to be teaching this VIRTUAL course for East West Bookshop in Seattle! I want to help you learn how to decipher the messages of BEASTIES AND TO CONNECT WITH YOURS