Am I Afraid of Pleasure?


Here are five feel good ideas that are giving me life….

1.  Could I Be Afraid of Pleasure?  I believe it when Brene Brown says that the emotion we are most terrified to feel is JOY.  A lot of us were taught that we shouldn’t enjoy things too much in case something bad might be coming on its heels (shoe-drop vibes).  So, it would stand to reason that many of us might be fearful about PLEASURE.  I’d like to think that I am NOT afraid of pleasure…but when I look deeper, I know there is a part of me that is afraid of it…or afraid that I want TOO MUCH pleasure…or that I’ll never be able to get enough of anything (material, spiritual or otherwise)…to be contented.  I wonder if I fully trust myself with pleasure?

The reason pleasure came up is that with my ongoing intuitive eating experiment  (from Nov 2023 until now I have stopped restricting any sort of food and have been eating intuitively) my weight kept climbing (12 lbs so far)… and my knees (patellar femoral arthritis) began to hurt more.

I have learned SO MUCH, but the experiment no longer felt great.   AND, after learning more about diet culture and the evils of using the BMI , I no longer want to participate in that world again…so how might I deepen my peace with food/body?

In perfect timing, I remembered by colleague Kirsten Koel who is a coach working with women to do “pleasureable weight loss”…which sounds wildly improbable.  Doesn’t it have to be at least slightly difficult to live in a caloric deficit?

I’m not in it so much for weight loss- but maybe to stay where I am!:)

One of her principles is this: if you change your relationship to pleasure, it will change your relationship to food.  What do you think?

Those of us with dopamine deficits (AKA diagnosed with ADHD) are often seeking pleasure to get that “hit” of dopamine that our brain craves.

I will be curious to see how my relationship to pleasure grows.  For today, I am going to try lying on the floor and relaxing the next time I feel like seeking a snack. I’m going to work with Kirsten and I’;l share what I learn with you!

How do you find sensual pleasure beyond food, and sex/self-pleasuring? I’d love to know! Hit reply and share if you’re feeling un-shy!

2. Favorite Passage this week…My mom-in law is in hospice and, thankfully, she’s comfy and peaceful for the most part.  Her active dying has opened up a portal for us.   This quote resonates…

“Have you ever thought about this?

In 100 years like in 2123

we will all be buried with our relatives and friends.

Strangers will live in our homes we fought so hard to build, and they will own everything we have today. All our possessions will be unknown and unborn, including the car we spent a fortune on, and will probably be scrap, preferably in the hands of an unknown collector.

Our descendants will hardly or hardly know who we were, nor will they remember us. How many of us know our grandfather’s father?

After we die, we will be remembered for a few more years, then we are just a portrait on someone’s bookshelf, and a few years later our history, photos and deeds disappear in history’s oblivion. We won’t even be memories.

If we paused one day to analyze these questions, perhaps we would understand how ignorant and weak the dream to achieve it all was.

If we could only think about this, surely our approaches, our thoughts would change, we would be different people.

Always having more, no time for what’s really valuable in this life. I’d change all this to live and enjoy the walks I’ve never taken, these hugs I didn’t give, these kisses for our children and our loved ones, these jokes we didn’t have time for. Those would certainly be the most beautiful moments to remember, after all they would fill our lives with joy.

And some of us waste it day after day with greed, selfishness and intolerance.

Every minute of life is priceless and will never be repeated, so take time to enjoy, be grateful for, and celebrate your existence.”

~Ryan Swain

Reading the above made me think how I rushed I was in a moment with two friends this week instead of being patient and listening….phew.

Because of my mom-in law, I had an incredibly spiritual and strangely PLEASUREABLE experience painting this week as I thought about my mom-in-law and her journey from earth to the spiritual realm. See the ART I made:  You can  watch the REEL here.

3.  Beastie of the Week:  Each week I aim to  divine a beastie to help us all and share an excerpt from my Book of Beasties with you!  Let me know if you like it?  It made me laugh with its theme of FEASTING!

Thank you Caterpillar for sending us this nudge!

from Caterpillar:  It’s time to get busy and feast on life. The voluptuous caterpillar has an insatiable appetite for leaves because it’s preparing for one of the most miraculous transformations one can witness in the natural world. At some point, this tender-bodied creature will get his wings. If you’re ready to work toward yours, get ready for some fast personal transformation. It can be a challenging process. Caterpillar can remind you that where you are vulnerable, therein lies your strength. Be curious.”

-Sarah Seidelmann The Book of Beasties: Your A-to-Z Guide to the Illuminating Wisdom of Spirit Animals

Are you in need of more spiritual connection or simply feeling as if 2024 is your year to lean into healing?  You can find all the ways to work with me HERE. 

AND you can always work together with me + Inger Kenobi and other fabulous humans like YOU each week by joining SHINE and make serious progress on your creative journey!

with love,

This content is reader supported. This one was typed while I sipped decaf and ate just 3 donut holes- such restraint! .  YOU are one of my sacred priorities dear reader!

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This painting SOLD last week to a collector in Minneapolis!  I couldn’t be happier!  Click HERE to see all of my originals for sale…



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