I love my coaching tools. Many of them are based on simply asking powerful questions. The other day I tried out a tool on my 5 year old son because I wanted to give him a little special attention (and his 7 year old sister had wanted to try out being “coached” earlier- so he wanted to try too!).
So I asked him to tell me about something that he felt like he HAD to do but did not really enjoy doing (this is a great tool to try on yourself……) So he picked brushing his teeth.
ME: SO Charlie- what would be so bad- or what would happen if you did not brush your teeth?
CHARLIE: Lots of germs would grow in my mouth and it would make me sick.
ME: So you have been sick before- what would be so bad about that?
CHARLIE: I would throw up all over the place.
ME: Ok – so you have thrown up before- why would that be so bad?
CHARLIE: Because I would have to wash all the sheets and bedding….and put it back on again….
ME: Why would that be so bad?
CHARLIE: Because I would get bored…..and really tired and then *****I would have to move to another family, a different family….
What I did not say is that Charlie is adopted (as are 3 of our 4 kids) and so by doing this simple inquiry- we got to a painful thought- that Charlie wondered if he might someday have to go to another family (I wondered too- if this was tied to him not being able to do a certain task or him being too tired to do it)…..so we had a great conversation and I re-assured him about the fact that he was our son FOREVER- and nothing could change that. We also talked about his birth family and the fact that they would always be the ones who had created him. We talk often about adoption in our family and are open about it- but clearly Charlie still needed to be reassured.
Such a simple process of inquiry that uncovers quickly
Thoughts we may not even have know existed…..that is what coaching is all about. Then we can go about the process of looking at the painful thoughts and bringing the light of truth in. The truth is what sets us all free. Truth really FEELS GOOD.