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Guest Post by Houkje Ross

Houkje Ross guest post on FollowYourFeelGood.com

Houkje Ross


A guest post  by Houkje Ross

I had a dream the other night where I was making out with a guy in plaid pants. These pants were really, really loud. Kind of reminiscent of something one might see on a golf course… or maybe in a bar, in 1974.

In 1974, I wasn’t yet two.  According to my mother, I didn’t have hair until I was two and a half. Instead, I had a layer of fuzz. She used to put a red ribbon on my head when she took me with her to the grocery store, so people would know I was a girl.

Little did she know that when the hair would come in a few months later… it would be a tight, curly, frizzy expression.  My hair has always been loud.

This is how I know I was born to FREAK.

My hair stands out. It is —aside from my name— the most obvious thing about me. When I first came to Washington, DC, my friend Kenya thought I was black… because my hair was like hers. She took me to a salon where they straightened it.  For a few days, I had perfectly straight hair that I could feel swing down the back of my neck. It felt luxurious.

I took pictures, lots and lots of pictures of me with straight hair.

I hated my hair when I was little, because the last thing I wanted was to be loud or freaky.  I was a quiet, introverted child, with an extreme ability to focus inward. I could play for hours by myself in a dream world that I made up among my dolls.

My hair was teaching me to freak.

The dream that I had the other night… the one with the loud pants…it came with a message.  I’ve been dabbling in dream analysis… Jung-style.

Carl Jung believed our dreams are a window to our unconscious. He believed that dreams serve to guide the waking self to achieve wholeness and offer a solution to a problem you are facing in your waking life.

Merge the soft with the loud of your life…

There comes a time in everyone’s life, when you say, yep, this is me, big freaky hair and all!

I didn’t start listening to the freaky until I got the pictures back that I had taken of myself with straight hair. I looked at them… but didn’t really see myself. I saw someone with straight hair… someone who looked like me… but wasn’t me. My loud and freaky was gone.

Up until that point, I had fought the loud. Fought the curls, tried to control the curls.. tried to hide the curls. But when I saw myself with straight hair… it wasn’t me.

I missed the loud. I missed the freaky.

My dream reminds me to find the other parts of myself that are just as loud and freaky as my hair… and to let them out, too.

Houkje is a writer and a life coach helping others gain clarity and insight about their lives. As a writer, she helps business owners, organizations, and other writers and creatives develop their voice and tell their stories. Before reclaiming her freakiness, she worked for 15 years as a writer, editor, and communications manager for various government agencies and non- profits. Houkje lives in Mt. Rainier, Maryland, a small hippy village near Washington DC. She can frequently be seen walking her dog Mr. Peterson and shopping at the local food co-op, GLUT. RossWorks Coaching
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  • rebecca @ altared spaces 29 Jul, 3:24 pm

    I love plaid pants and wild hair. I look good in neither.

    But I have big teeth and a laugh that has literally made people get up and move because I am too….loud.

    Learning to love my loud laugh one tooth at a time.

  • admin 30 Jul, 12:15 am

    Love that Rebecca:) I have WAY curly fuzzy hair and big teeth and am loud- it must be contagious:) I have realized more and more that those are the things people love about me- the people who are my people:)

  • admin 30 Jul, 12:15 am

    Love that Rebecca:) I have WAY curly fuzzy hair and big teeth and am loud- it must be contagious:) I have realized more and more that those are the things people love about me- the people who are my people:)

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